This is a theme I’ve heard woven through recent conversations.
Have you been there? Are you there right now?
Aren’t many of us in that same boat in one season or another?
MWF Seeking BFF, by Rachel Bertsche.
Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?, by Mindy Kaling.
The Friendship Crisis: Finding, Making, and Keeping Friends When You’re Not a Kid Anymore, by Marla Paul.
You know. Alone on our couches.
Then there are the articles about why it’s so darn hard to make friends as an adult.
I’ve read them, I’ve shared them. They’re good.
Is this feeling universal?
Because I’ve felt it in full-force at times. And from what I hear — you do to.
Maybe we should let this friendless feeling connect us instead of push us further from each other.
Because maybe we already know the answer to loneliness, the excuses we keep, the fears we hoard.
Action, invitation, and commitment are the answers to our feelings of isolation.
I love what my friend Brooke says, “sometimes the cause of those lonely feelings comes when we’re not connecting in meaningful ways with other people.”
Or even the acquaintances who could become friends!
The apprehension is understandable.
“I don’t even know what I’d make them for dinner.”
“What if they can’t come?”
“Will my kids overwhelm them?”
“But my house… it’s so messy.”
“Everyone is too busy.”
“I’m nervous. I don’t want to sound crazy when I invite people over.”
“Will my baby-food smeared shirt and crying baby be off putting?”
“What will we talk about?”
This ‘trying to protect ourselves from rejection’ business?
It’s leading to our isolation.
I aware of the ‘fear factor’. 87% of us probably face the same hangups when it comes to extending invitations or entering “new friend territory”.
But guess what? We all just want to hang out!
I’m headed out the door for a new workout class, not sure I’ll know anyone there. But I’m going anyways because I believe that friendship is always right around the corner.
Yeah, this is your homework for the week. Invite someone(s) to do something. Share a coffee. Grab a pizza. Have cereal for dinner. Make time for authentic conversations while you eat a meal; it doesn’t have to be “entertaining”, a simple gathering will do.
If someone asks to hang out — say yes (and if that moment doesn’t work, for goodness sakes, suggest a time or event that does).
Tell me who you’ll connect with this week. How will you foster friendship in your life?
I wanna know so I can encourage you; share in the comments below. <3
Side note: If you’re really really feeling friendless because you’ve moved to a new town or something else is making friendship hard, I understand and am sending you a HUGE virtual hug. This series might help.